Hardy Crew

Resolutions! Who Needs Them?

2011-01-21T23:29:00.000-08:00

I like to think I don't really believe in resolutions. Against the grain? Popular thought? Well that's why you're here. Goal setting, goal following, results, achievement, STRIVING...should be a continual process. It's a wheel, right? I don't care what day, month or year it is. Simply put, you CAN always do better. I like to streamline the process to my job/life specifically, and as a housewife, I narrow that into three categories:

Be a better Wife, Mom, and Friend. In that order. It's pretty all-encompassing don't you think?

I'll start with Friend. Exercise, sleep, and honestly, social time are pretty important for for me. That rounds out the personal aspect of who "Ashley" is outside of being "Brice's Wife" and "The Kids' Mom". Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself that Brice married Ashley. Not the mom. Not the wife. Not the jogsuit. He married the person. I still have to be a person!!! And quite frankly, those 3 things are pretty non-negotiable with me. They really do help me be a better human physically, and mentally. But the big thing with "friend" is I am going to make a better effort at a regular girls movie night. Hold me to it, ok? Can I wear a jogsuit though? Just checking...

Mom. Definitely my main job so I must focus much of my effort and talent (ha! more like persuasion!) in this area. I am always looking for fresh ideas, clever tricks and neat games to enjoy on the floor so I can really spend time with my kids. I truly mean that. It's important to me that I sit on the floor each day with my children, at eye level and play. Listen. Watch. When they are older, I want them to remember this, and if they don't, I will. I know I have invested. But there is more time I can spend doing this and less I can spend pretending my house is tidy. This is good preparation for school time, which is coming in the next few months. There are only so many hours in a day, so some things will have to give in order to achieve "Better Mom". I know that, and my heart and home are prepared!

Wife. Oh boy. Thank heaven Brice isn't writing this because the sheer honesty would be brutal. For everyone! High on my list is making a fun breakfast because it's important to him. While I'm a happy "shake for breakfast" gal, he really enjoys a fancy first meal and I know I need to make that happen. Brice is so fantastic about taking leftovers and even leftover-leftovers for work lunches I know I can work harder at making special big breakfasts' on his days off. And I can cheers with my shake ;) He maintains such a cheerful attitude that really, it is the least I can do. It sounds so silly, but one day he might look back and remember it. Find it special. I will truly do this because it is important to him, and that is what you do for people you love.

While January is usually a time a personal reflection and new goals, I share with you the same three things I continually strive for. I know there will never be an end result, a measure of excellence or a medal to signal my finish line. And I'm ok with that.

If life truly is a journey, I don't want the adventure to end-just yet :)

The Santa Subject

2010-12-15T20:15:00.000-08:00

It's sticky, slightly silly, and quite frankly leaves me stumped. The Santa Subject. From our first Christmas, I was quite adamant about my opinion, as most parents are. Unfortunately, ours isn't the POPULAR opinion. That is, our kids know the truth. The real truth. Horrible, I know. But the honest truth is, I wasn't comfortable perpetuating a lie. Going to great lengths to perpetuate a lie. Heck, even small lengths. We just couldn't.

A few of my "small" issues on the stickiness of Santa.

-For many, the holiday of December 25th is the celebration of the birth of Christ. Religious or not, we appreciate the historical roots of the holiday.

-I'm not a fan of giving presents, gifts, or gold stars for "being good". We have a Responsibility Chart at home (LOVE Melissa and Doug!) but there is no reward. It simply displays the jobs our children are responsible for and the "reward" is you put up said magnet for the given job after the task is completed.

-Truthfully, this is the first year in our family we are giving gifts to our children. They have been fortunate to have family, friends, and a friend family bless them with gifts. Adding ours to the pile would have simply been excess. We buy our children special things throughout the year, but they are not showered in gifts at Christmas simply "because".

-Relating to the point above, we really try to avoid "consumerism".

-The Santa Story is a special story we've talked about and relayed that giving people gifts is in and of itself special and magical. The idea of Santa reminds us to think of others. That's important. Not unfounded threats of gifts with regard to "being good".

But I digress. Christmas is magical, delightful and fun. I love it so much, I start decorating November 1st. So regardless of what YOU believe, Merry Christmas!

And don't worry, my kids won't tell yours ;)

Encouraging Moments

2010-12-15T18:13:00.000-08:00

Several years ago, as I was holding my tiny baby and silently wondering the eternal new mother questions of, "What in the world am I gonna do with this kid?" and "Am I ever gonna shower again?" Brice and I had a moment of clarity. And I'm pleased to note that I in fact did shower again-although many times I'm still wondering, what the heck AM I gonna do with these kids? But back to clarity.

Like most new couples, we (long ago) talked endlessly over our thoughts, wishes, and dreams of how our life would be together. Our excitement. Our joy. Our love. Our plan. And for the most part, our ideals have held up.

And then we had kids. One in 2006 and one in 2007! We had to re-evaluate everything. Cloth or disposable? Sleep with or without? A whole new set of questions awaited us. Preschool, activities, discipline, etc. And I thought I had the whole marriage thing figured out! Shoot. Thankfully, we quickly fell into a loving routine with our babies and had a clear vision of how, and what we wanted for our littles.

We choose to be a family of one career, primarily because his career is, in no uncertain terms, a lifestyle. We committed to this from Day One of our life together, and I'm proud to say it truly was the right choice. And we both LOVE our jobs!

As our babies grew into toddlers, we again revisited our family plan. Adjusted. Scrapped. Re-invented. Embraced. While our decision to homeschool is unconventional, it is encouraging to hear of similar stories. Brice recently attended a seminar on the emotional effects of his career and the changes it brings to the individual and their families.

I did what any concerned wife would do. I fretted. Worried. And for a while, was convinced that we didn't need a touchy-feely-cumbaya seminar. But we did. We bought the book. Heck, it's even on our coffee table. Made a checklist of the things we were doing wrong. AND the things we were doing right. While it wasn't my favorite read, we found the psychology to be insightful.

And there it was. A moment of clarity. Brice has always supported my vision of homeschooling, but after his seminar-he truly became a proponent. And it feels so good! So good to be believed in, and embraced.

I still wonder "What in the world am I gonna do with these kids?" and occasionally, "Am I ever gonna shower again?" but the time and capacity at which I, WE, are truly with our children, as family is already immeasurable.

Simple, encouraging moments remind me that the gift of time is priceless.

And I'm happy to note the next read on my bedside table is, "I Can Do It" by Mary Block ;)

We're All Here To Learn

2010-11-16T21:33:00.000-08:00

I tell my kids this over and over. And myself. We're all here to learn. And sometimes, I as much as I really, truly want to believe it, I can't find what I'm supposed to learn. Or it seems the lesson is too hard to grasp. I know as a "newly commissioned" homeschooler, I'm still striving to achieve balance between what is appropriate levels of knowledge for my children and what may be further down the road. Sometimes I overestimate my kids and sometimes, they surprise they freakin' HECK out of me.

For instance...I personally always struggle with math. Not my talent! I'm a talentless wonder, however math is definitely a fear of mine so I know I have to incorporate more into my lesson plans with my kids- as I am always heavy on language arts.

It is my job to teach our children so I'm betting they *might* be behind in numbers... or so I always fear. Recently, while sorting and resorting toys as a manipulative math activity, Cash told me he was going to "skip count" by 10's. To 100. I sat. I fretted. I was actually quite curious what my child thought he knew (I mean we are prepping ourselves for Kindergarten here!). And you know what? I learned something that morning about faith. In my children. And myself.

As fearful as I am about my personal weakness, my 4 year old loves math, remembers numbers, and they make SENSE to him. And can you believe that child counted by 10's to 100 without any instruction from me? Sure we have numbers 1-50 posted in our school room, but I have personally shied away from anything but for fear of "doing it wrong". Somewhere along the way, he was there to learn, and hey...

So am I.

So while we plug away at the Pilgrims, the Continents, plants, finish off capital letters and our character education, I'm really, truly going to give my hand to math. This is the child who finished off his happy counting with, "By the way Mom, I need to practice writing my name with a capital C and H and the rest of the letters lowercase because I realized that's actually how you're supposed to do it".

After all,

We're all here to learn.

Surprise Gramma Dot!

2010-11-08T21:34:00.000-08:00

We've been working on it since September! A surprise party for Gramma Dot's 60th birthday. Complete with menu, theme, and a rental beach house. Sound fabulous? It was. She deserves it! I can't believe we've pulled off a surprise of this magnitude for our Mother Hen. Do you know how hard it is to surprise your mother in law? Let alone arrange to have her whisked away for 4 days? Are you thinking your mother in law would strangle you if you did that to her? Thankfully she didn't!

We had a fantabulous LOOONG weekend at a beach house in Cayucos (thank you Auntie Jess and Auntie Brooke for being planning extraordinaries!). And the weekend went off without a hitch. I don't think I could ever tire of listening to or looking at the ocean. It's amazing to hear the thunderous roar of the waves through an open window.

4 days, 3 nights, 15 people, 1,000 games of hide and seek, and one family photo shoot equal good times had by all. We memorized Catch Phrase answers and talked extensively about Barack Obama's boobs (if you've never played Loaded Questions, get yourself a cocktail and check it out-it's hilarious!!!). And if you happen to be playing with the Hardy's, well...you know what you're in for...

Cayucos happened to having a car show that weekend so we made an quick walk from our house to downtown and enjoyed the festivities. We did some AMAZING shopping in Morro Bay-if you're going there you HAVE to go to a store on Main called Harlow. It's adorable and the prices are fantastic. Gorgeous clothes, jewelry and bags! Bought some adorable hats at Sharks Grin on the Embarcadero. They are kid friendly and have some unique finds in their store. Cayucos Pharmacy in downtown had the most adorable jewelry at their "front" counter-the trick is that you have to walk all the way to the back to find it :)

Cheers to A Weekend in Pictures-And More to Come!

I Couldn't Resist the Bar!

Snuggling the Hardy Boys.

Some Pretty Cool Chicks.

Birthday Cupcakes

View Out of the Front Window

BBQ Oceanfront-Doesn't Get Better Than That!!!

It's Time!

2010-10-26T19:57:00.000-07:00

To take back up the hobby of writing that is. The timing of my "unannounced" break was just that-Unplanned and unannounced. Other things in our life HAD to take precedence. As is often the ebb and flow of life, our family was given circumstances in which we literally had to drop everything and deal with a situation (No, not that one! As far as I know, he hasn't made his way to the OC...yet).

After months of hard work, and quite honestly, disappointment, the Hardy Crew is back on *our* track. Sometimes hard work and tough love aren't enough-people *still* have free will. And negative influence. Bad parenting. The list goes on. I will say we tried! We literally stopped our lives and tried with everything we had!

However, the specific events that took place are not for here. They were not directly related to us (what's that saying, sh*t flows downhill? That's precisely what happened! Literally!) AND I'm saving those tidbits for the big time baby!!! They're going in my book :)

But back to the Crew-because after all, that is why you're here. There's serious business in all of this.

Namely:

I punctured an aerosol bottle yesterday. Don't do it. They really do blow up.

I've officially embarked on our homeschool adventure-Hooray! And, help!

I think the Bubba Keg is probably one of the greatest inventions of ALL TIME.

I just paid ONE DOLLAR for a rockin' designer dress at Walmart (Miley Cyrus is a designer, right?) and had enough change at the bottom of my purse to pay for it!

Let the excitement begin!

*Woo* It feels good to be back!

I'm A Laundress Failure

2010-01-24T23:20:00.001-08:00

It's official. Despite my dry cleaning inspiration, I'm a failure. I simply can't do laundry properly. I tried! Valiantly, I did! And I failed. More so, I epic failed. You know those silly pictures of people doing ridiculous things thinking they are on top of the world? Fake motivational posters emblazoned with black lettering stating, "Fail"? I'm officially on one of them. Epically so.

I only wish I would have dyed something pink, shrunk a uniform, or mildewed my entire dryer. It's far worse friends. *Ahem*

I washed. And dried...Poop. Two pieces actually, one of them the size of a golf ball. How could one commit such an offense?

It began innocently enough. It's difficult to do laundry when your washer and dryer are outside and you are subjected to hurricanes. I mean hey, there was that tornado warning and all last week...I knew I had a load (or 3 , a pile, mountain maybe?) waiting for clear skies. Somewhere between tossing the laundry in the outside storage room and dodging hail I missed *someone* with poopy footed pajamas. A certain *someone* who conveniently forgot to tell me they had a big accident and dressed themselves before I could find out.

I'm betting that was why the laundry room smelled so awful...I was actually beginning to believe that whole *myth* of not letting your clothes sit overnight in the washer until I really did start to smell something. Unbeknownst to me, it was far, far worse than overnight mildew.

I tackled my laundry. I was proud! I did 39 loads (or 4, but who's counting?) and not one single load sat overnight in the washer. I know what you're thinking, it's "Amen Sista! Way to stick to your resolution!". And finally, finally I got to my last load. There was still a slightly odd smell in the laundry room but I swore it was due to the mountain of dirty clothes that had sat outside. Right? No. Terribly wrong.

Oddly enough, that last load in the washer smelled really, really bad. Hmm...weird. So I did what any logical person would do and washed it again with a full cup of detergent (those lines are just suggestions anyway).To the brim, baby! Round Two. There goes my whole water conservation platform...Shoot. After the second rinse I threw it into the dryer. The odor had lessoned so I transferred the clothes and went inside.

It was inside that I realized something smelled terrible. Worse than terrible. And there it was. Poop literally on my hands and under my nails! Foul. I thought for a moment. How in world? OH NO. OH NO. OH NO! I ran outside and opened the dryer.

Sitting on the door was the first piece of solid evidence! I dug threw the clothes and then found a golf ball sized offender. How freaking disgusting. How could this happen? How could I miss large pieces of fecal matter!!!!?!!!

Sadly friends, I have found that there is something worse than poop. It's hot poop. As I cleaned out my dryer with Costco disinfecting sheets, Lysol AND bleach...I can confirm hot poop is far, far worse. Far worse.

Be glad that I didn't allow Brice to take pictures. He really, really tried. But I do believe it really is official now-

I really am A Laundress Failure.

PS-I just posted a dryer on Craigslist. Free!

Our Current "Issue"

2010-01-19T13:51:00.000-08:00

I'm sure the list is long my friends, but we have developed a rather serious "current" issue. As far as I know, it can't really be helped but nonetheless, I could really do without ever experiencing it again. Cash has recently begun having night terrors. I've only heard snippets of conversation regarding this, and honestly, never really believed people.

They are absolutely horrible. When Cash is having an episode, they literally make me cry. I hate feeling powerless over the ability to help my kids, and with this-I really, really feel as though I cannot help. I've researched, googled, read, chatted and am finally embracing the fact that we can only attempt to prevent them.

We have always had a consistent nap/bed times (loosely based within a window of time) and recently, our 3.5 year old has been sleeping less. I thought he was potentially "growing out" of nap time and was not forcing the issue, just essentially providing a quiet rest time. It hasn't worked. He literally needs to fall asleep at nap time and to maintain the same bedtime as well. That's the best solution we have for the moment.

In addition, we continue to enforce the no television rules and I have actually gone through our books. The last few times he mentioned portions of a particular book about silly pirates. After last night's experience, it was quite clear he was thinking about it subconsciously. While I'm not a censorship fan, I am grasping to find control in the situation.

There's nothing worse than feeling like you can't help your child. Let's hope prevention is the key!

**Update**

Despite the nap and regular bedtime, I heard Cash awake at 10pm and found him whimpering near our toilet. Obviously, we had to move him and he was eventually comforted back to sleep. Thank heaven we checked on him and from now on, no closed doors at night-and he's sleeping with us.

Christmas Vacation 2009

2010-01-19T13:36:00.000-08:00

I would have a fabulous story to tell. Complete with pictures. It would account for a 25 day vacation of visiting family in addition to Brice's 30th birthday. Family. Christmas. And yes, 30th birthday. Complete with snow, Camping, presents, a visit to Cambria and some serious silliness. I would. If I didn't lose our camera. Yep. I did. And I'm not sure where or when! I know it made it through Christmas and 30th birthday. As far as the grand finale to San Jose, I think it got lost somewhere between the bobcat sighting (Yes! We really saw one in the wild!) and Cash's car sickness adventure (thank heaven the McDonalds breakfast ended up outside the Tahoe). So, we'll have to envision together Christmas/Vacation/Birthday 2009 and remember the fun that was.

Minus pictures :(

What Do You DO All Day

2009-12-07T13:11:00.000-08:00

As a housewife, I am plagued with that question on a rather regular basis. I decided it was high time to address it publicly, and with photographic proof. And for the record, I am without Au Pair, nanny, housecleaner, mommy's helper, preschool, chef or personal assistant.

Morning Indoor Baseball. One's home isn't really complete without some sort of indoor sport for preschoolers. Helps get the "wiggles" out-especially on rainy days! Breakables you ask? We don't own them. Anymore :)

A clever little game we like to call "Don't Touch the Floor". We've just finished reading "Pippi Longstocking" and were inspired. The goal being, obviously, to not touch the floor. Cash rocks this game. We typically wait until about 9am before we play-to be neighborly of course!

And lastly, because I only photographed our Monday morning, thwarting Presley's attempt at "greening" herself. Apparently she took yesterday's "Global Warming" lesson to heart.

So there you have it folks. What do I do all day? I'm merely shaping the next eco-conscious generation of athletes. Or um, preschoolers.

Brice Rocks At Hide and Seek

2009-12-07T12:58:00.000-08:00

I'm not entirely sure how it happened, but we decided our family nighttime routine is not complete without a friendly game of hide and seek. Where can you go in a 1200 sq. ft condo? The possibilities are endless, people! I'm not disclosing any of my faves or methods-however Brice discovered the ONE spot in our house that actually made me and the kiddos give up. HOW did he get on top of the closet? I'm not entirely sure but I believe it involved scaling a mirror...and he's not telling either. So come on over, and enjoy and friendly game of Hide and Seek, Hardy Style!

Cash

2009-11-15T00:12:00.000-08:00

Never have I been so excited in my entire life. Never. My child read today. Really read. He picked up a book and read.

"Mmm-Ah-Tah. Mm-Ah-Tah". Faster and faster. And THEN, he looked at me and said, "Mom. That says Mat. Mmm-Ah-Cah. That says Mac. Mat and Mac".

I called Brice and my mom. I could not believe it. I was, in essence, so excited for Cash. It opened a whole new world for him. Granted, he is age appropriate developmentally, however, being able to WITNESS his first valiant attempt at reading...I was speechless.

Reading is a crucial part of my life. Of our families' life. It is the reason why we eschew television and other media. We're not smart. We're not special. We're simple. And I want my kids to believe that. AND on Tuesday, my kid read. And I am so excited for him. Excited that the world is unfolding-in front of him.

Cash-You can do ANYTHING. Go climb mountains in Peru. See New Guinea. Live in Portugal. Dad and I will meet you wherever you land. The world is so much bigger than you realize.

Bigger, than we realize.

Press Release for our Family Member, Annie Leinen

2009-11-05T13:58:00.000-08:00

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Contact:
Michelle Walsh
951-301-6581

Inland Empire Friends Rush to Raise Money
for Young Mother with Aggressive Cancer

MENIFEE, CA --- People all over the Inland Empire are pulling together to help a young mother from Big Bear, Calif who is fighting a fast-spreading cancer.

Annie Leinen, 28, was diagnosed last week with Stage 4 melanoma, which has traveled to her lungs. Leinen is the mother of three sons, all under the age of four.

Leinen was pregnant when her cancer was discovered. Because the cancer was hindering her breathing, doctors rushed to deliver her son by c-section. He was born 12 weeks premature.

Leinen is a former resident of Menifee, CA. Her husband Mike is a firefighter with the Redlands Fire Department.

Friends from all over Riverside county have rallied to raise money for the family. They will hold a yard sale and bake sale this Saturday, November 7 from 7 a.m. to noon in Menifee, CA, located at 27610 Watercrest Dr.

Proceeds will go to the Leinen family, for medical expenses not covered under insurance, and for lodging for Annie’s husband and sons, who are staying near the hospital where Annie is being treated.

“Everyone has been very deeply affected by the devastating news of Annie's diagnosis,” said friend Michelle Walsh, who spearheaded the fundraiser. “We are completely shocked that someone so young and so healthy could be afflicted by this disease at such an incredibly fast rate. Everyone is pulling together to do whatever we can to help.”

Donations can also be made in the form of a Visa gift card. This can be brought to the yard sale, or mailed to:
Annie Leinen
c/o The Cody Family
2810 Parkway Dr
Martinez, CA 94553

Finally!

2009-10-27T21:29:00.000-07:00

It's about time. We recently have had the privilege of meeting some pretty amazing people. Our family is already surrounded by fabulous folks but these new folks are really neat. They're our new neighbors and I LOVE them. Both are families with stay-at-home moms, both have an older boy and younger girl and hello! Neighbors people! Neighbors we LOVE. Ahh, pretty amazing that this wish has finally come to fruition.

I knew we would be best friends immediately. A brief synopsis of both ;)

New neighbor J- Loves country music, isn't too serious, and looks like Megan Fox. And she just walks right into our house, because we LOVE her. She loves coffee, drinks, and exercise. And if I call 45 times a day, she answers.

New neighbor R- Does our daily neighborhood walk in skinny jeans, slouchy boots and "done" hair. Fab-u-lous! Her kids names are names we considered for our kids. "Short list" names even! It's a sign. And if I knock on her door twice a day for "boy playtime", she not only answers, but comes out for play and chat. Did I mention she looks exactly like Tiffany Amber Thiessen?

Neighbors. You don't have a home without 'em!

Fall, School and Choices

2009-10-27T13:02:00.000-07:00

Fall fun is in full swing at the Hardy House. We have had the best time visiting pumpkin patches, crafting, and hanging spiderwebs-everywhere! Fall is also the start of new beginnings.

School has been a widely debated topic in our home. Brice and I have had so many discussions about the best options for us, our children, and our family as a whole. We had spoke to our family, our kids, and strangers. And we're comfortable with our feelings.

We are forgoing preschool and opting to hom

eschool our kids. We've found some fabulous resources (Thanks mom for the HWT program info!) and had some good old fashioned fun. We've had people question our decision, and people who completely disagree. And we're ok with that. We're used to questions-after all, we are the people who don't watch television :)

And for your enjoyment, just a fraction of some of the amusing comments (and my replies) we've received:

"I'm so glad your here! I wanted my husband to meet you and show him your family. He thought you might have two heads or something. You guys look so normal!"

-Nope, each of us has just one head. I like to think we're an attractive bunch :)

"How are your kids going to learn anything if they don't have TV?".

-I see your point! Reality TV has been crucial in shaping our current society.

"They'll be a little behind but they can learn about characters and TV stuff when they go to school".

-Precisely what we are trying to avoid. I say let's fill their brains with some useful info first.

"Your kids are going to be antisocial".

-Have you met them? Presley will go home with anyone who has a nose. And maybe someone who doesn't...

"Oh, I could never be around my kids that long. They drive me crazy! I can't wait until I have hours of alone time when they are all in school".

-Um, well. Hmm. Well captain, sounds like public school is the right choice for everyone on that ship.

"How do they unwind without TV?"

- With a stiff drink and a cigar of course! Don't yours? They are kids. Read them a book for heaven sakes!

"How do you get anything done?"

-The kids are responsible for their toys and laundry. They may also help me cook, empty trash, feed the cat, donation piles, etc. And PS-kids can clean just about anything with a baby wipe. They LOVE cleaning with baby wipes.

And lastly, because it's absolutely hilarious and totally unrelated...

The kids have chosen their Halloween costumes.

They're gonna be garden gnomes. Yep, you read that right :) And Pres is thrilled!

I'm Crutch-Free!

2009-09-22T13:10:00.000-07:00

Hooray! I'm happy to be a member of the walking world. Well, hobbling world. But that's ok, I'll take any form of "upright" without assistance for the time being! I can't believe we made it this far and were able to have live-in help the entire time. Everything worked out so perfectly.

Thanks family and friends for helping me on the this road to recovery. If all goes well, I'm signing up for my next 1/2 marathon in May.

Close enough to a year off, right?

To The Man That Hit My Car

2009-09-20T21:17:00.000-07:00

I saw you. I know you had a moment of morality flash through your brain. You stopped. You saw me hobble out of my truck on crutches after you. You drove away. And I'm sure you feel like crap now. My children, thank heaven, were strapped safely in their car seats and uninjured. It could have been worse.

I'm assuming you fled because your life circumstances of facing this would be irreparable, damaging. You might have lost your job. You surely would have gone to jail. You obviously however, couldn't face your mistake-even to ask of our safety.

That's ok. I forgive you. Thankfully, we can pay for the damage to my car, and we are unharmed, relatively speaking. I only ask that you make it up to someone else in some way.

And I hope your life turns around soon.

Sincerely,

The People You Hit at Heidelburg Bakery in Laguna Beach

One Week Left-A Knee Update

2009-09-15T14:42:00.000-07:00

That's right! Only one week left to find out if I can finally put my foot down. When the surgeon told me, "Just go home and lay around for four weeks", I laughed. But I must say, I've done the best job I could have possibly done. Who really wants to lay in bed for four weeks? Candidates for the Jerry Springer show I suspect.

We have so much to be thankful and grateful for. I was left with very tiny incisions, something that was originally never promised. The surgeon was able to repair and replace my ACL and meniscus through my existing arthroscopy holes. My actual scar is on my calf and just 3 inches long-where they took the graft from my hamstring tendon. It took much longer than we expected, but we are ever so grateful for his time.

I'm feeling better every day, and we are so thankful for the help we've received. Meals, childcare, live in family, and well wishes have kept us going. The kids have had playdates, friends, and loads of unexpected family time.

Only 7 more days until the next part of the journey begins. I am hoping to drive by the end of the month, and better yet-walking in October. I have high hopes! For now, I'll enjoy my time shopping in electric scooters and parking in handicapped stalls. There are some perks, you know!

The Best Thing. Ever. Really!

2009-09-10T20:44:00.000-07:00

I was really excited about this. It is beyond the most amazing idea I have ever heard of. It's Pretend City, and it is fabulous. Make that, beyond fabulous. It's a children's museum in South Orange County and it's literally minutes from our house. A place where kids can touch, play, and pretend. Dress up, paint, and dig. A museum where young children are invited to gas up a police car, deliver the mail and grocery shop. And I LOVE it.

We bought a membership. We're going every week. And one day, I'm gonna be Mayor of Pretend City-because every child needs creative "unplugged" play. Hear, hear!

It's Over. Or It's Only Just Begun!

2009-08-25T14:41:00.000-07:00

I'm a relatively organized, planned person. I enjoy order, tidiness and structure. So I was quite shocked (to say the least) when Brice and I received a phone call from the doctor that said I was going into knee surgery in about 16 hours. We're weren't home, we weren't organized and we certainly were not prepared for that news. But it's probably the best thing that could have happened. We finished fruit shopping at Henry's and made 2 emergency phone calls to our moms, just to ensure they were available. And then we parked ourselves at Chilli's for some fabulous food, fabulous drinks, and some fabulous family time!

My mom arrived safely a few hours later and early the next morning I was whisked away to surgery. With no meal plan, no freezer dinners, and no clean baseboards. I'm kinda ok with that. Had I been given a few more days, hours even, I probably would have attempted some major cleaning and cooking in attempt to feel "more" organized. I probably would NOT have spent my last semi-mobile hours having fun with my kids or enjoying my husbands' company. And I probably would have felt guilty over the tasks left undone.

Being in a situation out of my control isn't my ideal, but agonizing over baseboards and meal plans isn't ideal-period. I'm adjusting to being dependent on others (many thanks to my "others"!) . Slowly adjusting to the fact I cannot use my right leg for one month, drive for weeks, and potentially walk unassisted for months. And that's ok. We have had so many people offer their assistance, food, company and even their homes in order to help us. I can't imagine anything more perfectly ideal than our friends and family.

And I'll have plenty of time to sit on the floor and enjoy special time with family, right?

While surgery is over, but this journey has only just begun :)

And special thanks and love to our "ideal" family and friends.

We Have a Verdict-Kinda.

2009-08-17T17:52:00.000-07:00

The good news is I really, really liked my doctor. The bad news is I was wrong about my self-diagnosis.

Survey says.... I tore my ACL. It will be confirmed by MRI on Wednesday. The surgeon seemed pretty confident, however.

I'm trying to be positive-but it's taking me awhile to get used the news. I'll have more on this later.

Is There Ever a Good Time?

2009-08-14T14:04:00.000-07:00

To have a parent be "down"? No. There's really not. I'm a thankful however Brice and I had a full 7 days of rest, relaxation, and rowdy fun :) before I met my fate. It's not the end of the world, after all, if this pans out-this will be my 3rd knee surgery. The first two were from one accident (on both knees) and this little doozie is from, nothing actually. Standing on a rock in the shallow ocean. A wave knocked me off the rock from behind-pretty undramatic, I didn't even fall to the ground entirely, just stepped off the rock wrong in attempt to NOT fall.

The only dramatic portion was me-sobbing! And I'm not a crier! It really, truly hurt. Day by day pieces of the pain have diminished...but there is one nagging portion I remember quite well. I'm pretty sure I tore my meniscus again. After numerous half marathons, a FULL marathon and chasing my children around for miles, a tiny little rock in the Caribbean took me out! It's not even a good story to tell. For the moment, I sticking with my current concoction about the crocs in the mangroves. Unless you've got somethin' better!

Why now? So many friends, family and even Brice are unavailable to essentially be available. But there's never a right time for a parent to go down. Thankfully, (and I'm really trying to be thankful here) I've drafted a list.

I'm Thankful That This Happened Now Because:

We just got back from an amazing vacation

Summer and water play is coming to an end anyway

It's not really too hot or too cold

I've already ran the marathon

Fall activities are starting and we've met some fun new friends

We have some pretty great old friends already who always seem to be available when you need them

I snuggled a tiny baby today, and while not pertinent, that JUST makes me happy

Brice makes some really fantastic breakfasts and it's REALLY nice to have coffee made for me in the morning (the only other time this happens is when when at the 'rents house and Pops' has coffee made !)

I've read 2 books and am ready for our new book club! And I LOVED both books

Cash is quite the little helper

AND lastly, it's happening because it's supposed to. Doctors' originally told me that I should have my knees scraped every 5 years- and I never followed up with treatment. Frankly, after taking up running and feeling well, I didn't have reason to. It's clearly time! And I managed to go 8 years with loads of physical activity without issue.

There's an order to the world and our life always has a way of working out. The only good time to be faced with difficulty, is when it happens. I'm just not sure of the reason yet-and that's ok. There's always a reason :)

Cancun and Crutches

2009-08-13T15:03:00.000-07:00

Before. After. Same Dress :)

Best. Vacation. Ever. It really, really was. Seven days of alone, adult time with my husband was just what the doctor ordered! That is, of course, until the doctor ordered x-rays and a set of crutches.

It was an innocent little rock perched in the Caribbean. Innocent until a tsunami thrust me off that blasted rock into a maelstrom of pain! But I am still thankful.

Thankful it was the last day of vacation.

Thankful that percocet is sold over the counter in Mexico.

Thankful that airports have wheelchairs and furthermore, that people in wheelchairs bypass all lines in immigration and security!

Thankful for an amazing sis who kept me company in the ER. She even posed for pics!

Amazing parents who parented our children another day while I was out of commission and provided the most fabulous food and drinks (in effort to speed up recovery, of course)

Did I mention the gave us the guest house so we could sleep in?

Thankful for amazing friends who are keeping me company by phone or in person?

In short, I'm still glad we went! It really was the Best Vacation Ever. And crutches are the hot new accesory-haven't you heard?

I plan to bedazzle them as soon as I can get my three legged self over to Michael's.

Push Button Kids

2009-07-30T21:29:00.000-07:00

I had many ideas and notions about parenting prior to becoming one. Doesn't everyone? Isn't it almost certain that those ideas and notions change the moment you are handed your own child? I certainly would have been foolish not to re-evaluate mine. Over time, the primary focus of our family has become more defined. It's simple, really. Completely un-original. We are forging ahead in denouncing the era of "Push Button Kids".

It began with the "no television" rule. I was so overwhelmed my first few weeks as a new mom, I didn't even think of turning it on. Weeks turned to months, and we began to embrace the idea. I hated the way my son would turn his head and stare at the screen, stopping all forms of play and focusing every fiber of his being on doing....nothing. It REALLY bothered me. Considering our family arrangement, it is my job to care for our children and the house. Should I park my kids in front of the television when honestly, I could wear my baby and do the chores around the house at the same time? My husband can't zone out in front of television at his job. He can't stare mindlessly at a screen or tell others to, while "on the job". It just seemed to become, a complete waste of time. And since unplugging the darn thing we've lowered our electricity bill. I dare you-try it.

We found ourselves having real "together" time. Not "sitting on the couch watching TV together" time. Finding time to do other things. Having children that didn't need constant stimulation in order to be entertained. It was then that the "no television" rule evolved into other "horrible" rules:

No toys with batteries

No "characters" (Gramma Cathy personally takes exception to anything "Cars" related. And we love her for it).

No electronic stimulation (although I recently let my son listen to the audio version of Tiki Tiki Timbo)

Homeschooling, probably for awhile

Scary? I warned you. And we look so normal... :)

For us, it's bigger than TV. It is the era of "Push Button Kids". The downfall of technology. Raising children, who expect instant gratification. Push a button and your toy "does something". Push a button for the television. The computer. Your phone.

I firmly believe that "Push Button Kids" are connected to another horrific feature of modern society. Entitlement. "Push Button Kids" feel entitled to instant gratification. Constant stimulation and gratification.

I don't hate technology. I'm just attempting to make connections that seem to have common threads and expose an rather unpopular, uncommon school of thought. Entitled to "their turn, their fair share, their, their, their". Entitled to life in a "me first" world.

Parents, let's be honest. The world is not a fair and equitable place. Bad things happen to good people. You don't always get another turn or a second chance. Attempt compromise but don't EXPECT it. And it's a whole lot easier explaining that to a 3 year old than a 33 year old.

Archaic? Perhaps. Try it. Turn off everything with a button for an entire day. Then a week. Make your kids play with wooden toys. Have them use their minds for something other than "commercial use". If they can memorize movie lines and characters, they'd better know how to play lacrosse and speak Chinese. Have them think of "others first and themselves last" when playing with friends.

Re-prioritize your priorities and seriously,

Think outside the box. Sounds harsh? I warned you. Judgmental? Well, I figured I'd "go big" and see if it made someone think differently for a moment. Critical? Definitely. But if you're reading this blog, remember I like you and I like your kids. Are we different? Perhaps. That's ok and that's probably why we're friends.

Remember, I'm here to learn too.

Warning.

2009-07-22T22:23:00.000-07:00

I just wrote a new post and I'm frightened to publish it. It contains many things I've said before but parenting is a sensitive subject. I personally, take LOTS of things personal. More so, when it comes to my children and my ability as a mom. So while I'm mentally debating it's content, it will remain a draft. I'm not a parenting expert, never had a class, and heck-I only have 2 kids. I DO have strong ideas about what is right for my family-and I'm sure you do too. Remember that, when you read it. We're all trying to raise the best adults possible, right? That's what we are doing. Shaping our little people to become big people. Our ideas are different from most, but we're happy. And happy with the kids we're shaping. Remember that too, when it's published.

"Push Button Kids". A post about entitlement, entertainment, and everything you didn't want to hear me say about parenting. AND if you're already frightened, feel free to skip it ;)

It's Marathon Time- A Reflection

2009-07-21T21:50:00.000-07:00

I've packed. Un-packed. Worn. Laundered. And re-packed. I think I'm ready. What started as a simple journey to "lose the baby weight" is ending on Sunday. Now that my youngest child is 19 months old, let's be frank. You don't gain 50 pounds of "baby weight". No. You. Don't. I gained 50 pounds because I ate when I felt sick, was sick, felt great or was attempting to feel great. Quite honestly, I ate because I REALLY felt that being pregnant was the one time in my life that I could really, just breathe. And forget about what I put in my mouth. AND it felt fantastic! But back to the journey.

After having my son I really needed to do something about the ahem, excess "baby weight". I just so happened to win the most fantastic prize I have ever won. Well, it doesn't quite beat the gold and diamond bracelet, but close. It was a free month of Baby Boot Camp. That's right. You bring the baby and exercise. Genius! After my free month I was hooked. 4 months later I felt FANTASTIC. After 6 months I needed more-and took up running. It was so relaxing to just have an hour. An hour to think about nothing. An hour to be outside. An hour, to just be.

When my son was 8 months old, I found out I was pregnant again. It was a week before my first ever 1/2 marathon. With mixed emotion, I stayed home on race day. But I was out there 3 weeks after that precious lovebug was born! AND when she was 9 months old, my duo sat for my first ever 1/2 marathon in the double stroller. They both got medals as we crossed the finish line.

Race day is Sunday. This time, it's the full 26.2. It's been quite a journey, but I've enjoyed the ride. I love running. I love being active with my family. I love that I can do something physical that's viewed as challenging.

Running a marathon is a time in your life when you can really just, breathe... And eat whatever you want! AND I really LOVE that.

My Business Card

2009-07-19T13:28:00.000-07:00

It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it breaks my heart. I see myself in each of these people. Our family, in each of theirs. Looks of desperation and confusion, worn on their faces. And I'm never really quite sure what to do about it.

She approached me in the park after a run. She was young, and it was her first child. She stood by us inquisitively for a long while and finally approached me as we were leaving. I answered her questions and asked her a few myself. She mainly chose to listen. "May I ask why your daughter wears glasses?" she inquired?

I told her our story-the one in my head I've practiced and repeated relentlessly to all who will listen. She was frustrated but patient. Doctors had told her too, that her baby will wear glasses. They hadn't given her an exact date, but she was told he was too young at 8 months. She worried that they weren't giving her correct information, and that her family was lost in a medical shuffle.

I did my best to answer her questions, and it happens that we have the same ophthalmologist. Not surprising, considering the rarity of the practice in a small area.I left feeling like I didn't do a good enough job. Like there was still more for her, for me, and for her baby. Unasked questions? Did I tell her what she needed to hear? Perhaps.

Selfishly, I did what I yearned for. What I wished for, every time I approached and inquired. What I did, when I too, was desperate. Desperate to find someone to answer my questions with, "This is ALL going to be fine". That simple statement is what I needed to hear then, and now. Something I try to convey to all parents who are navigating this journey-but that is what I needed.

If only I could hand them a business card.

"Here's our story. This is how I felt. I cried. I questioned. I imposed myself, thoughts and feelings on anyone who would listen. I think that's normal. This is our doctor. He's fantastic. If yours is different, I'm sure they are fantastic as well. If something feels wrong in the medical care of your baby, change it. Ask for other opinions, research and do your own. AND know when to limit yourself on "information" as well. Get your prescription filled here-we love this office and they have compassionate hearts. Go nowhere else. They understand. AND buy these glasses. They've been stepped on, ran over and eaten by the cat. Repaired every time! And if you HAVE a business card, I'd like it as well. We're here to learn too".

Our Pirate Princess-An Old Note Worth Posting

2009-07-16T15:02:00.000-07:00

I'm sure many of you know, but it can be difficult to ask. Our daughter was born with congenital birth defect called a Coloboma. It's in her left eye. They are extremely rare and we have known about it since she was two days old. You can't prevent it, fix, laser, etc . If your baby has one, you already know about it. It's not something that is just "discovered". It may show up as a marker on the AFP you take when you're pregnant. I declined the test and we found out after she was born. Brice discovered it in the hospital. He caught a glimpse of her left eye and asked the pediatrician about it as we were checking out.

I was actually prepared for this. When my first child was born, a nurse raised the question that he may have Down's Syndrome (her reasoning was that he had a round face which can be indicator). After two weeks of waiting, we were told our son, in fact, does not have Down's. He does however, have a ton of energy and an insatiable appetite :) That nurse could have been a saint or Satan and I'm sure you can guess where she falls in our book. After dealing with the emotion of (thinking we were) raising a child with special needs, I was prepared. I still have not forgiven her for ruining my first weeks with my son, but am now grateful for the experience. We had been through this once before, this time however, it was real.

There is alot we don't know about Pres. We don't know how well she can or can't see. We don't know what challenges she will face. The questions from strangers have already began and we do talk to our son about it often. It's noticeable and children by nature notice when things are different-when they don't match.

We do know that she will need glasses, patching, and has poor vision in general. Her left eye cannot focus. She will probably need extra help in school. We know that she is not blind, and we know that it can never improve. I do know she will be the cutest pirate I have ever seen.

We'll just have to practice the "Arrgh Matey"!

I Hit on a Girl...And I Liked it!

2009-07-15T22:11:00.000-07:00

You read that right. I did and am supremely excited about it. It represents opportunity in our otherwise mundane life. A whole new world, an adventure we have only DREAMED about. I did this once before and it worked out in my favor so yesterday, I took a chance.

I spied her from my balcony as I was feeding the kids breakfast (dry cereal and fruit totally constitute breakfast in this house when husband isn't around!). Breakfast. And there she was strutting around the community Hair tied back. Cute workout clothes. So simple. Really pretty, kinda young and the MAJOR bonus...she was pushing a stroller!

BEHOLD! IT WAS A new neighbor who has kids my age! I pushed the kids out the door and and breakfast into snack traps. We loaded up and went in search. We were supposed to be on our way to a run but hey, I HAD to meet my new best friend. I am sure will be as excited as I when she realizes that we are to be NEW BEST FRIENDS. I drive around the HOA until I finally found her. She was speedy, I mean, seriously-this cannot get any better! A fellow exerciser to boot. Heaven, I say.

I pulled up in my truck and rolled my window down.

Me: Hi! Do you live here?

Her: Ummm, yes.

She was a little hesitant but I guess if someone chased you around your neighborhood in a black Tahoe at 8 in the morning you might be a little startled too. I preyed on her nonetheless.

Me: Do you stay home with your baby? (Probably a little intrusive, but I needed the basics).

Her: I do.

Me: PERFECT! I do too! Let's go walking! Can I join you tomorrow? My and husband and I would LOVE to have neighbors to hang out with. You know, come over and BBQ kinda thing? Playdates? Swim parties? That KINDA THING.

Her: ABSOLUTELY SILENT.

This was NOT good.

Me: Oh wait! I have kids too. Here they are.

I rolled my windows down and proved my motherhood. Finally, it clicked. The "she is not a stalker from the CIA" look leaves her face.

Her: Oh, I've seen you before. You have that orange stroller, right?

Me: (At this point I am thinking why, do you own a SARS mask? But that would have made this go from bad to worse pretty quickly). Yep, I do! Big orange stroller (with a gigantic tear in the front too...I mutter silently).

Her: Well I try and go walking in the mornings, I live at 149.

Finally! Some friendship reciprocation here-she gave me her name and address.

Me: Perf! I'll come knock on your door if I don't hear from you soon.

And we parted ways. I've been out of the courting game for some time but I'm thinking this went OK. I'm on day 2 and she'd better expect me tomorrow....

That "Wait 3 Days" Rule still applies, right?

Here Goes Nothing. Maybe Something....

2009-07-15T21:05:00.000-07:00

I am taking a huge plunge into the written world. Exposing myself and a few innocent others along the way. I'm not sure where this site will end up, but hey-let's enjoy the ride. Play group politics, literary masterpieces, or simple tidbits about my daily follies. The mailman saw me naked yesterday by the way.

Welcome to the Hardy Crew Blog.